A Reconciliation and Healing Service between the victims of clergy abuse and the Roman Catholic Diocese of Oakland March 25, 2000

SURVIVORS: We came or were brought to the church
|   in the hope that we would meet a loving God,
    and we had our innocence stolen from us.
When we were overwhelmed
    by the horror of what had happened to us
    we were ignored, and our pain, anger, and fear
    were dismissed as an indication
    that we were immature and unreliable.
When we withdrew from the church we were written off
    as lapsed or rebellious.

CHURCH LEADERS : We were ashamed and afraid to know
    the horrible truth about the abuse
    happening within our church
    and its devastating impact on the lives
    of so many of those we were called to serve.
Even when the signs were right there before us,
    we did not recognize them.
We had eyes but we did not see.
We had ears but we did not hear.
We did not turn to be saved ourselves
    nor did we minister God’s saving grace
    to those in our midst who had been abused
    because our eyes had been blinded, our ears made deaf,
    and our wills paralyzed by our shame and fear.  
We pray for God’s mercy and forgiveness
   and ask for the grace to amend our lives.

SURVIVORS: We came back to the church seeking healing
    and we were hurt again.
We were told that we were liars.
We were told that we were whores.
We were told that we were hysterical.
We were told that we were too angry.
We were told that we should forgive and forget
    and shut up and go away
We were treated as if we were the ones who had
    brought shame and embarrassment on the church.

CHURCH LEADERS : We preferred comfort rather than health,
    illusion rather than truth.
We protected our colleagues, fellow church leaders,
    who had stolen people's innocence
    and murdered their souls while maintaining
    an illusion of faithfulness and productivity,
    rather than accepting the challenge of ministering
    to those whose hearts, souls, spirits, and lives
    had been shattered by their abusive behavior
    whose naked emotion and pain
    were more than we were willing to bear.
We preferred the easy road of pretending
    that things were okay rather than the hard road of
    calling our colleagues and friends
    to be accountable for their abusive behavior.
We pray for God’s mercy and forgiveness
    and ask for the courage to amend our lives.

SURVIVORS: We came to the church seeking justice,
    and we were treated as enemies of the church.
We were looking more for understanding, honesty, openness,
    and a commitment to work together
    to make the church a more just and life-giving place
    than we were for money,
    but we were met by fear, lies, secrecy,
    and a commitment to get us to join
    in covering up the truth of what happened to us
    and sometimes a little gag money
    to "help with our therapy"
    and pressure us to keep the secret.

CHURCH LEADERS: We have too often focused on
    the splinter that is in our neighbor’s eye
    rather than on the log that is in our own eye.
We have called our people to act justly
    in their dealings with others
    and we have raised our voices against injustice
    in the world around us,
    but we have too often been content to ignore or excuse
    the injustice perpetrated by our own church leaders.
To our shame, we have been content
    for you to bear the pain of this injustice
    without lifting our voice to support you
    in your struggle for justice.
We pray for God’s mercy and forgiveness
    and ask for strength to amend our lives.

SURVIVORS: We have come to the church at this time
    because we were invited by some of your leaders
    who said that they want to apologize, ask forgiveness,
    and act to help heal and reconcile
    the pain and alienation that we have experienced
    in the wake of the abuse that was inflicted on us
    by priests, religious, or other church leaders.
We hope that you share their desire,
    and we ask that you commit yourselves
    to some specific action and prayer
    for the healing of all who have been abused by priests,
    religious or other church leaders,
    for the church in its response to this problem,
    and for yourselves as you are called to respond
    to people’s pain, concerns, or ignorance
    about this type of abuse.
What we are doing here today will be,
    at best, the beginning of a process
    of healing and reconciliation
    not its culmination.
For our part we commit ourselves
    to speaking the truth of our experience
    in hope of healing for ourselves,
    for all who have been abused, and for the church.

CHURCH LEADERS : We commit ourselves to act and pray
    for your healing and the healing of all those
    who have been sexually abused, exploited, or harassed
    by priests, religious, or other church leaders,
    for the healing of the church,
    that it may faithfully address this problem,
    and for our own healing and guidance
    as we are called to respond to people’s
    pain, concerns or ignorance about this type of abuse.
We thank you for being willing to enter this dialogue with us,
    for calling us to a deeper understanding,
    honesty, openness, and commitment
    to work for justice around this issue.
This will enrich our various ministries if we are faithful.
May God give us the grace, courage, and strength
    to fulfill the commitment we have made.